


Stones on your window

by eatjin (MonokumaSupermacist)



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Happy Ending, M/M, hoshi is mentioned, seokmin too, wonwoo's oc sister
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-25
Updated: 2017-10-25
Packaged: 2019-01-23 00:32:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12494384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MonokumaSupermacist/pseuds/eatjin
Summary: In which Wonwoo is lonely and Jeonghan is lost, or is he?





	Stones on your window

Stones on your window.

 

Wonwoo should really go outside more, he should. Looking at his too white legs and too white arms, he should go outside; it's summer. Summer is a beautiful season - beautiful, or at least that's what everyone's saying - only wonwoo can't see beautiful.

 

Can't see; more like can't feel. He only ever heard about summer - summer which is the season all his classmates love, summer where they go out for ice cream; bicycle rides and beach volleyball. All his friend do. Friends; when was the last time wonwoo had actual friends; maybe was in elementary where he met that guy - Seokmin was his name - kind child, funny one but also a good friend. Maybe it was in his freshman year in high-school; Soonyoung - he was a mystery to Wonwoo, still is - kinda; good guy, Wonwoo suppose he was a good friend too; he should be, he stuck around for long , if anything, it’s wonwoo who's not a good friend. He doesn't remember how both friendships ended - he doesn't need to; same reason, always that one reason, the one that finds him in his room alone everyday.

 

It's okay; wonwoo made it to be okay - is it okay? He shakes his head and let's these three words leave his lips again; It Is Okay. Everything is fine fine fine _fine;_ everything is fine until nothing is and wonwoo walks towards his bed; a left over book - marked on the forty fifth page. Careful hands lift it from the bed - fingers tracing careful written words; marked words - he marked them; _she felt; warm sun; sticky ice cream -_ sticky ice cream; how does sticky feels? Soonyoung once told him it feels gross - gross; wonwoo pretended to understand and asked for Soonyoung's favourite flavour - _mint chocolate;_ wonwoo nodded, he made sure to buy him mint chocolate ice-cream two days later. He's not sure how it tastes but he would like to taste it sometime.

 

His sister burst into the room, backpack hanging from her shoulder "it's hot in here" - _hot -_ she fans herself "how are you coping"; wonwoo looks at her, he supposes it is hot; it's always hot. She looks at him with an apologetic feeling in her eyes; he turns on the air conditioning - 20°C- she likes that temperature; they both smile. She offers him to go out with her - the beach, Wonwoo declines; he always does. She opts for ice cream "cheesecake flavour", she smiles; she always buys him ice cream - always cheesecake, her favourite; not wonwoo's but it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.

 

Wonwoo has no favourite ice cream flavour.

 

Wonwoo should be sleeping; wonwoo should be doing lots of things, but for now he should be sleeping, it's nearing three in the morning but this damn book is so interesting, he doesn't fully comprehend it - like every book - but it is interesting nonetheless.

 

There is a loud bump on his window pane, it straddles him but he gets up anyway. He looks through his white see-through curtains at a figure outside. He opens the window. There is a guy - a guy he doesn't recognise - ready to throw a stone at him; another stone.

 

The boy looks wide eyed at him " Speak, i almost threw a stone at your face". Wonwoo wants to say that it doesn't matter; instead he opts for "who are you?" . The boy just looks "who are you?" He shots back. Wonwoo is confused and agitated and so –  so annoyed because he was the one throwing stones at his window.

 

He sighs "wonwoo". The boy looks confused, he scratches the back of his head - embarrassment. He locks hard eyes with wonwoo – contradiction.

 

"Sorry I – wrong house I guess." His tone indifferent but genuine. It’s a game; a game wonwoo is not willing to play.

 

Wonwoo nods; he turns around to leave before the boy speak again "could you help me find the right one?". Wonwoo sighs.

 

He asks for the address before throwing a handmade map at the boy who looks at the map for a good three minutes –  he sighs again. He’s hesitant; goes down anyway “I’ll help you”. The boy scoffs, Wonwoo ignore him, “you obviously need help”. The boy looks like he wants to protest but he just follows wonwoo.

 

Wonwoo looks; studies the boy – the way he reads his books. His hair look soft – soft; he wants feel it. It’s stupid but he wants to anyway, he read about soft hair so many times he just wants to know how it feels. He has a nice profile, nice; everything about this boy just look nice from his medium to short length hair to his feminine features and hard boyish lines. there is an aura surrounding him – pride; pride graces his every step, every slight move of his head when he looks around and it makes wonwoo feel small.

 

They’re about to turn in the corner only couple of houses away when “let’s not turn here” wonwoo should question, he should protest, he should go to bed – leave him be; but every word is filled with finality and it’s only he adds _“let’s”_ out of politeness; when he really means _“do not”_ and in all his protest and tiredness wonwoo follows.

 

He follows when the boy turns the opposite way. Maybe deep inside he wants to follow, he wants – something. They end up walking around all night. They don’t talk but it’s comfortable; wonwoo isn’t one for talking anyway, but he sees – he sees every movement of the boy. His face looks familiar – stoic; like his own, but there is something more there. Every time they head for a direction a sour expression will dust his features and he leads wonwoo to a different one. That’s all they do.

 

They’re near to wonwoo’s house; they part. There is no goodbye just “jeonghan”. Wonwoo smiles unconsciously as he walks up the stairs.

 

He’s lost again; jeonghan is lost, again. More stones on wonwoo’s window and wonwoo sighs; sighs but he walks with jeonghan again. Another destination, it’s not too far, maybe closer than the other one and jeonghan leads him away at the last moment. Silence; and jeonghan leading wonwoo to different streets until morning comes and he leaves again.

 

Wonwoo has lost count of how many stones jeonghan has thrown at his window. A lie; wonwoo keeps every single one of them. How many nights they walked around. Jeonghan is lost – again. Another lie; jeonghan is never lost, Wonwoo can see it; he sees it every day – _night_ , jeonghan is not lost, he has a destination in his mind, somewhere; there – if wonwoo looks closely he’ll be able to see it, jeonghan always knows where he’s going; he’s searching. Wonwoo is just there; wonwoo follows – out of curiosity, mostly.

 

He still makes handmade maps for every destination jeonghan tells him – jeonghan never reads any of the maps, he declines but wonwoo still brings his maps with him; and today too he takes his quickly scribbled map and follows. Another night; another nameless destination, this one’s far – farther than any previous ones but wonwoo follows because he’s curious.

 

Wonwoo follows because he’s lonely; wonwoo follows because jeonghan has the power to take the loneliness away even if for a couple of hours. Jeonghan has a journey he wants to go; wonwoo has nothing but the desire of a company – jeonghan’s company. Jeonghan; jeonghan who’s quiet like wonwoo, jeonghan who knows where his footsteps lead him. Jeonghan who doesn’t ask impossible things from wonwoo; simple things – _“play football with me”, “what’s your favourite food”, “aren’t you hot” –_ impossible things. Jeonghan whose everything is alluring.

 

“Are you sure we’re going in the right direction?” jeonghan asks and it takes wonwoo by surprise because he never does. Jeonghan doesn’t care – _jeonghan didn’t care –_ now he cares and wonwoo checks his long-forgotten map. A nod and another and jeonghan’s features turn to something resembling a smile. It’s a long way, Wonwoo can see jeonghan’s skin become dump, small droplets of sweat forming at the base of his jaw and it is him who asks this time if it’s hot. Jeonghan arches an eyebrow at him “aren’t you hot?” he asks instead and wonwoo contemplates between _‘no I’m not’_ and ‘ _yes I am’_ – “not really” is all he says and jeonghan doesn’t question anymore.

 

They don’t reach quite close until they have to go back.

 

“tomorrow let’s have the same destination” tomorrow; it is a promise and wonwoo holds at it dearly because jeonghan never says tomorrow, jeonghan doesn’t do promises; he commands, jeonghan doesn’t make plans – or maybe he does, carefully executed plans that never quite reach their goal.

 

Wonwoo doesn’t do plans either, wonwoo doesn’t do promises of tomorrow or commands, wonwoo doesn’t go to sleep waiting for tomorrow; wonwoo never waits for tomorrow because tomorrow brings nothing to wonwoo’s life – only he does, he waits for tomorrow; tomorrow – he waits for jeonghan.

 

Jeonghan looks bored, he doesn’t look at his surroundings as usual. Today his hair is in a small ponytail, shorts and a white t-shirt, there is a dump spot at the small of his back. He must be hot.

 

It’s a first when wonwoo asks “want to buy ice cream?” and it’s against everything he expects when jeonghan looks at him – a small shine in his eyes as he says yes.

 

A detour, it makes jeonghan look at his surroundings again and it makes wonwoo smiles. He maps a different way in his head.

 

Jeonghan ask him what flavour does he want and it’s out of curiosity – hope, when he says “mint chocolate”, jeonghan nods he chooses mint chocolate too. Hesitant; he is – wonwoo, when he asks, “is it tasty?” and jeonghan nods telling him he has a good taste in ice cream; he doesn’t.

 

They walk around, a different road, farther away; closer to where they want to go and wonwoo sees when the back of their hands touch – he does it again, wonwoo sees jeonghan’s hand flinch away, wonwoo sees when he trips and falls, he sees the blood from his knee, wonwoo see jeonghan blowing air and cleaning his wound with water. He sees; sees and pretends to make a face when it stings – it should sting.

 

They go back; wonwoo wants to say it doesn’t matter – because it doesn’t really but jeonghan insists anyway.

 

Tonight, wonwoo waits outside his window. Jeonghan questions him with his eyes. There are stones in jeonghan’s hand and wonwoo carefully takes them from him, fingers touch jeonghan’s palm and wonwoo thinks it must be soft. He puts the stones in his pocket; jeonghan doesn’t question – “don’t break routine” instead, wonwoo nods.

 

jeonghan tells him the new destination – it’s so far away it’s impossible to reach there and come back within a night, wonwoo wants to point this out; “we won’t reach” sounds better.

 

“we never do” is a statement; in which wonwoo, can’t disagree.

 

He notices as jeonghan places a hand on his shoulder and counts the seconds for him to turn around – 3 seconds. Jeonghan asks if he reads – _“you look like the type”_ – wonwoo confirms it.

 

Jeonghan asks for wonwoo to take him somewhere since his own destination is far. Wonwoo makes a u-turn, so fast like he knew exactly where; and he does. They will not reach they never do but over time wonwoo realised that there has to be a destination for jeonghan to go; he can’t wander around aimlessly; aimlessly sounds funny – isn’t that what they’re doing every night? No not really, not at all; wonwoo came to understand.

 

Wonwoo leads and jeonghan follows and it is a change; _break routine_ – jeonghan is the one he said not to yet he’s the very one that does it.

 

“I hate this town”. It’s genuine; far too genuine, wonwoo knows; he’s seen.

 

This is the reason for jeonghan’s continuous night escapades; jeonghan’s – not wonwoo’s; _not really._ He doesn’t really hate this town – he does hate other things.

 

Tonight they don’t go anywhere; jeonghan asks for wonwoo to just stay there. There is this place wonwoo used to stay as a child, in the backyard behind a couple of bushes hidden from the world. Wonwoo takes him there – his secret place; world. He lets jeonghan see a part of himself, of what wonwoo is made of.

 

Equivalent exchange; jeonghan showed wonwoo too much – even unknowingly, he deserves that much.   

 

Jeonghan asks for one of wonwoo’s books; wonwoo chooses the little prince – it suits jeonghan. He hands him the book but jeonghan pushes it back to his hands.

 

“read for me, I like it better”

 

Wonwoo reads; jeonghan holds the light from his phone for him to do so. He tells him he likes it better when someone else reads – books lose their magic when you’re reading them yourself.

 

Every now and then wonwoo notices jeonghan tucking a strand of hair behind his ear. In the time, they know each other his hair grew longer. They look soft, wonwoo wants to feel them; he keeps reading.

 

It’s dark; they’re close and suddenly wonwoo is too aware of jeonghan’s presence; he smells nice; his skin looks soft, his eyes ridden of hard emotions,  it’s so private; intimate, only for wonwoo’s eyes – he hates it. He keeps reading.

 

Jeonghan moves his head a little; he thinks – wants to rest it on wonwoo’s shoulder; he doesn’t. Wonwoo’s voice is relaxing, is deep and smooth and his reading flows with a confidence jeonghan admires, he makes the words come alive in jeonghan’s mind; in his eyes.

 

He moves his hand – slightly; a small tremble, slowly _slowly_ he rests it on wonwoo’s own. It feels nice. Wonwoo keeps reading.

 

They don’t finish the book; jeonghan says he’s got to go. It’s not even 5am – he still goes. Wonwoo thinks it’s not different from his trips; unfinished.

 

He reads for jeonghan again, another book – something wintery – jeonghan’s request; “I’m tired of this constant heat” – wonwoo supposes he is.

 

“I want to know how winter feels like” – common ground, “I want too” says wonwoo; it comes out easy. He wants to know what winter feels like too; he does.

 

Descriptions of snowflakes falling on bare hands, melting on children’s warm tongues and wonwoo’s voice as he carefully read everything – jeonghan can see the snowflakes on wonwoo’s hair and he reaches a hand to dust them away; until he blinks.

 

Wonwoo doesn’t stop reading.

 

“let’s buy ice cream” Wonwoo suggests – _let’s walk; let’s go in another place –_ jeonghan’s getting restless; wonwoo notices. Jeonghan picks up the book wonwoo leave there; he likes it – wants to know more.

 

“mint chocolate” jeonghan tells him, he sits in the bench outside the small shop. Mint chocolate is wonwoo’s favourite flavour; it would be – if he had one. He wants to thank Soonyoung.

 

Don’t breathe, don’t move; still – stay still, he stays still. It is mesmerising the image of jeonghan sitting on the bench, long shreds of hair falling on his face; tracing the hard lines of his jaw the same way long, thin fingers – delicate ones are tracing slowly the pages of wonwoo’s books. Wonwoo thinks jeonghan’s fingers are mirroring his eyes – a soft lingering feeling. Wonwoo wants to read for jeonghan; forever.

 

Jeonghan closes the book too fast; the way you put down your hot cup because it _burns_. Stands up and shoves the book on wonwoo’s chest as he takes his ice cream.

 

“I like the story”

 

They don’t finish this one either.

 

They read another one, this time in a park not too far from jeonghan’s first ever journey with wonwoo. It’s nostalgic in a way. Nostalgic doesn’t suit jeonghan.

 

It’s a book about a cat, a cat that sings every night – a cat that reminds wonwoo of jeonghan. It is childish; wonwoo used to read this in elementary but jeonghan likes it – so wonwoo reads.

 

This time is wonwoo who’s restless.

 

They run out of places to go, they will eventually run out of books too – wonwoo will run out of jeonghan.

 

There are thoughts running through his mind all day and he’s restless. School break ends soon, his sister will go back to university.

 

His sister; she enters the room, all drenched in sweat. This time wonwoo remembered to turn on the air conditioning; she smiles “it’s nice and cold in here”. Her eyes travel at the foot of wonwoo’s bed “Are you finally coming to the beach?” she smiles playfully; the answer is always no – this time is yes, he is going.

 

They pack a volley ball and towels in wonwoo’s sports bag. His sister insists on sun cream too. She makes sure they do everything, everything there is to do in one afternoon. They play volleyball, they swim; she shows him some tricks she can do in the water – she makes sure is just the two of them. They are having fun; she laughs, wonwoo smiles, he wishes for her to laugh always.

 

Ice cream is a must; this time she lets him choose – it doesn’t matter, they both know; only it matters and wonwoo chooses one scoop of cheesecake and one scoop of mint chocolate – “do you like that?” she asks and it’s pointless but wonwoo nods; she chooses the same. Wonwoo hopes she will eat more mint chocolate in the future; he will eat more cheesecake.

 

Wonwoo hugs her before she leaves – “I love you”.

 

She makes a face, “you’re disgusting” – her actions contradict her words; she hugs him tight – tight, _tighter_ ; she’s out of the door.

 

Another stone on his window. Wonwoo takes a deep breath; gathers it – gathers al the stones in one plastic bag. He picks his sports bag and counts the stairs in his way; fifteen.

 

Jeonghan looks at wonwoo’s bag; he smiles.

 

“I’m going far” – _I know; “_ I might don’t come back” – _I know this too._ Wonwoo knows; he knows today jeonghan would come to say goodbye; he just knows.

 

Goodbye; it is not an option. Jeonghan hates this town; hates the constant heat forming damp spots on his clothes – hates there are so many places he can go. Wonwoo hates his life before jeonghan.

 

It is painful; to wonwoo – not jeonghan. He changes his words – “it’s a long journey, maybe a couple of days”; yes, it’s more likely like that.

 

“what do you have in the plastic bag?” – wonwoo shakes his head, it doesn’t matter.

 

They are heading to a train station two towns away. They will reach this time because there is a longer journey they must do. The train station is like going to the small store for ice cream.

 

Ice cream – they head to buy ice cream. A scoop of mint chocolate, a scoop or cheesecake – “my sister’s favourite”.

 

Jeonghan asks for wonwoo to cut his hair; “we’re starting anew”. Wonwoo can’t bring himself to cut it all short, he opts for something jeonghan can tuck behind his ear; short enough – not too short. it looks uneven but it’s okay it suits jeonghan; in every way.

 

He takes out a book but jeonghan asks him for the little prince. He wants to know the end.

 

Cut ties; jeonghan doesn’t want to have things tying him in the town. He starts by finishing a book. Wonwoo reads for him.

 

They pass by every place they never reached before. Jeonghan wants nothing to tie him here he wants to see everything so he’ll have no reason to come back. But that’s jeonghan; wonwoo has reasons.

 

They go to the beach – wonwoo’s request; he empties the stones to the sea – he won’t need them again, instead he gathers some sand in a bottle. The sand his sister loves so much; he’ll need that.

 

It’s three nights into the road when they stop in another small shop; instant ramen in hand; jeonghan places a careful hand on wonwoo’s cheek – wonwoo doesn’t flinch, he doesn’t move. He looks jeonghan in the eyes. Jeonghan leans in; wonwoo feels guilty.

 

“I’m sorry “ – he turns his head, but jeonghan; jeonghan is there “it’s okay, it’s better that way” – _for now; forever._ Wonwoo lets jeonghan places his lips on his own, it feels nice – it should.

 

He wants to apologise; instead “how long?”. Jeonghan smiles “since you read me that wintery story, it’s okay I don’t mind” he doesn’t really.

 

Jeonghan is kind and wonwoo wants to bath in his kindness.

 

Wonwoo reads the end of wintery story to jeonghan as the sun starts to rise. They’re almost at the station; almost _almost –_ they reached, and it is the first time he sees jeonghan during the day, warm sunlight illuminating the shadows on his face; dancing on his eyelashes – long; he’s beautiful – beautiful like summer.

 

Jeonghan slips his hand on wonwoo’s own, interlaced fingers and he squeez; wonwoo sees – squeezes back, jeonghan smile – it’s okay, they make it okay – a new journey; it will be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry about this word vomit tbh
> 
> i figured this story might be a little confusing so here are the points:   
> -this is an au in which wonwoo can't physically feel anything be it pain, touching, heat or cold, even taste.   
> -jeonghan doesn't know how to read


End file.
